Killing Our Parents

Ageism, abuse and assisted suicide

Our culture sees aging as a disease, something even the plague would avoid if possible.

We are bombarded with adverts promoting some new way to look younger, stay more in shape, and generally pretend that we are invincible in the face of old age and the inevitability of death.

Independence and autonomy are craved to the extent that the subtle insinuation is that if you don’t have autonomy, you have nothing.

We are afraid of growing up, afraid of allowing the passage of time to scribble memories as lines in our skin, and most of all we are afraid of being dependent on someone else for our basic needs.

We are afraid of age. And so, we avoid it, fight it, or just simply ignore its existence.

We bury our heads in the sand – or rather in some new speciality mud-infused cream – and pretend that age is more of a social construct than a reality.

And yet, in so excessively fighting the effects of ageing and promoting autonomy, we have created a society that places a taboo on old age and dependence on others.

And now that taboo is having deadly consequences.

Research has proven that “one in three people in the UK report experiencing age prejudice or age discrimination”.

The British public has an increasingly negative outlook on aging: “Only three in ten (30%) agree that they are looking forward to old age, while more than double (68%) disagree with this statement

As a nation, we fear aging: “Half (50%) agree that they are worried about getting old. Only one in five (18%) say that they are not worried.”

In shunning the concept of ageing, we are inadvertently shunning our elderly or dependent population.

We are so obsessed with our independence, our ability to think and choose and live for and by ourselves that we have subconsciously relegated a dependent life to a worthless life.

And this warped perception is now piercing its deadly claws into our culture, our health system, and our laws.

Discarding the heroes of yesterday

Here we are, perched on the brink of legalising assisted suicide. By a narrow margin of 23 votes, MPs voted to legalise assisted suicide at the Terminally Ill Adults (End of Life) Bill’s Third Reading.

Yes, the legislation specifies it is intended only for the terminally ill.

But the reality is that once any segment of society is entitled to a medically facilitated suicide, we will soon see any restrictions as discriminatory and start to dismantle them. Already, before the bill has even been voted into law, there have been calls to widen the eligibility criteria.

If we follow the pattern seen overseas, we will soon be allowing assisted suicide for the elderly, the chronically ill, the mentally ill, those with eating disorders, the disabled, the underprivileged, the abused, and those simply tired of living.

If we legalise assisted suicide, we will open the floodgates to increased elder abuse, socially acceptable suicidal ideation, and a general consensus that some lives – the old, the ill, and the less able – are really not worth living.

Public figures, such as Matthew Parris, have already controversially promoted the conception of a socially imposed ‘duty to die’ as a beneficial side-effect of legalising assisted suicide.

He said: “our growing interest in assisted dying may reflect a largely unconscious realisation that we simply cannot afford extreme senescence or desperate infirmity for as many such individuals as our society is producing. “Your time is up” will never be an order, but — yes, the objectors are right — may one day be the kind of unspoken hint that everybody understands. And that’s a good thing.”

Society already devalues those is perceives as ‘less than ideal’ or ‘less able’.

It’s true, we have come a long way in terms of equality and a recognition of the dignity of the disabled or severely ill.

But we are slipping backwards with every speech and article that presents assisted suicide as a ‘compassionate’ band-aid to be slapped across the open, festering wound of healthcare access inequality and a culture that shuns ‘less than ideal’ lives.

We need to peel back the plaster, rinse out the wound, and heal the healthcare crisis, rather than simply killing off those seen as draining the taxpayer’s money.

Yes, campaigners didn’t want to see this discussion become centred around finances and cost-benefit analyses.

But here we are, and we cannot simply ignore the fact that financial considerations will inevitably have huge ramifications on the legalisation and implementation of assisted suicide.

If people can find a way to cut costs, even at the expense of others lives, some will always find a way to do it.

The ends don’t always justify the means, and cutting costs by killing lives is never an acceptable solution.

We cannot afford to introduce assisted suicide

Assisted suicide may well be a more cost-effective option.

And this is precisely why our nation simply cannot afford to welcome in a culture of assisted suicide.

One where we will permit our doctors to suggest to their patients that suicide is really the best treatment for them.

Where we will fund medically assisted death, while leaving our healthcare system in shambles – underfunded and ill-equipped to provide excellent and equitable healthcare to help people live and die well.

Where we will start channelling the old and the disabled down a one-way drain, as if society would be better off without them.

The unspoken, although now hinted at, implication is that taxpayer money would be far more effectively spent on a quick death rather than ongoing expensive care.

It’s no wonder that disabled groups are terrified of this new bill.

It’s no wonder that palliative care medics – the ones on the ground day in and day out – hotly oppose assisted suicide.

And it’s sadly no wonder that many of our politicians seem more concerned about saving the bottom dollar than saving lives.

We cannot afford to sacrifice our humanity and our elderly on the altar of economics.

When a civilised nation resorts to killing those who are no longer contributing to society but costing society, that nation has dismantled the very foundation of its civilisation.

Losing the foundation of our civilisation

And so, I ask us to consider not just the perceived immediate alleviation that legalising assisted suicide might bring, but also the immense ramifications.

We must understand the incredible and irreversible harm that it will also do not only to the terminally ill and the disabled, but to our cultural perception of the dignity of life, our endeavour to decrease suicide rates, and our healthcare professionals’ ability to preserve life and offer the best medical care possible.

Every life is worth protecting and sustaining as a nation.

Once our culture forgets the dignity and value of life, we will lose our grasp on the foundation of our great nation.

Once our laws legalise intentionally assisting – and maybe even suggesting – suicide, we will have lost sight of what it means to support each other through thick and thin, through sickness and health, and through fears and sorrows.

Our compassion is intrinsic to our humanity, and assisted suicide is often presented as the compassionate option.

But how is it compassionate to welcome in a law that allows us to help the most vulnerable to kill themselves?

How is it compassionate to channel much-needed funding into the cheaper option of facilitating death rather than supporting life?

How is it compassionate to relegate terminally ill patients into an inconvenient drain on the tax-payer’s money?

And how is it compassionate to redefine suicide as a valid exit-strategy rather than a tragedy?

A civilisation that kills its parents is no civilisation at all.

Life is beautiful and brief – it’s time we accept that

As this bill proceeds to the House of Lords, we must continue raising the issues with promoting suicide.

We must continue fighting for the value of life and better support for those who are struggling.

And we must create a culture that values life regardless of ability.

We must be dedicated not to ending lives, but to restoring the dignity of life and ensuring that everyone has access to excellent end-of-life care and the support they need.

We must not dehumanise others simply because we are afraid of losing our own autonomy.

And we must stop presenting ageing – and the loss of autonomy or health that inevitably follows – as a horrific disease to be avoided at all costs.

Our culture has inadvertently relegated a dependent life to a worthless life. And it is our duty to reverse that perception.

As our laws are changing, we must now change the culture that made those laws possible.

It is up to us to create a culture that intentionally values and supports all lives, and in so doing we will be one step closer to stopping assisted suicide and saving the countless lives that are risked by this bill.

We must stop assisted suicide in principle, in practice and then in Parliament.

We cannot afford to sacrifice our elderly on the altar of economics, or our humanity on the altar of autonomy.

Now is the time to stand for the beauty of life in all its flaws, its difficulties, and its brevity.

We cannot underestimate the value of life and a good death.

Nor dare we underestimate the immeasurable harm that this law will do to our most vulnerable, to the foundations of our life-protecting laws, and to the very fabric of our society.